Apollo, p.7
Apollo, page 7
Lauren remained silent.
“You were driving too fast, on purpose. Why?”
“Am I…okay?” She lifted her hand to her forehead and winced as she hit the bruised cut above her left eyebrow.
“That’s you’re only injury. I made sure of it. If you want, I can heal it.” She shook her head. “I asked you a question.”
“Huh?”
“You were trying to commit suicide. You wanted to die.”
She closed her eyes.
“Lauren, I’m talking to you.”
It was clear Apollo was upset. The force of his anger and frustration hit Lauren squarely in the chest, causing her to take a deep breath and reflect on his words. What he said made her cringe with regret and the caring and concern interlaced within the tone of his voice, she wasn’t used to. Did Apollo care about her? Tears threatened to spring forth from the corners of her eyes and she sniffled, attempting to gather the leftovers of her inner strength, bonding the individual parts into a thick, strong wall between her and Apollo. She’d never share her true feelings, for once she dropped the barrier and exposed her vulnerability, he’d do as any other man would and tackle her down. She vowed long ago never to be like her mom, and to be in control at all times.
“Yes, Apollo, I know.”
The loud sound of onrushing sirens in the distance grew closer and silenced further questioning. Several fellow drivers crossed the median, heading toward the scene of the accident.
“I have to go now but I’m glad you are safe. You put your life in jeopardy, again.” He stood up, brushed the dirt off of him, and turned away. Holding his arms, palms up, to his sides, he closed his eyes, dropped his head back, and took a deep breath. Suddenly he whipped toward Lauren with a look of anger. He took one step toward her and shouted, “Don’t you ever do that to me again! Do you hear me, Lauren? Don’t you realize how important you are to me? I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you. You mean everything to me and I’m not letting you go…ever, not without a fight.”
She stared at Apollo through a foggy haze, his loud tone drumming in her ears. His outline unclear. She blinked several times to bring him into focus. Even outraged, with his arms folded across his chest, Apollo was gorgeous. She wanted to kiss him for caring because no one ever cared about her, but she wouldn’t let down her guard.
“You’re too self-destructive. I can’t have that.” He faced the heavens, arms spread out to his sides, and cried out an unearthly sound, an anguish-filled mixture of sorrow and frustration Lauren never heard before. The tone vibrated through her and trembled through her insides. She cringed fearing what he would do next.
Undisturbed, as if Apollo’s bellow was a mere whisper, several emergency workers carried on with their duties, bringing with them various forms of equipment, as they swarmed toward her vehicle. Before they reached her, Apollo turned to her once more and delivered a final blow of words that rattled and confused Lauren.
Sad eyes locked onto hers in the growing darkness.
“Don’t you know? I need you.” His voice deepened with his last few words. His golden feathers, unparalleled in their beauty, formed into enormous, sun-kissed wings, lifting and widening from the confines of his back. His gaze remained on her as his form faded into nothingness. He left her, open-mouthed and confused.
The next day didn’t fare well for Lauren. Carl had her on her knees, literally, begging for her job back just before she gave him two encore oral performances followed by sex. Carl didn’t seem to notice the gash on her forehead or even question if she was all right, after she mentioned the car accident. Instead, he asked, “What were you doing driving at that high speed, anyway? Are you stupid or something?”
“No,” she whispered.
“What? I can’t hear you?”
“No, Carl, I said no.” She lifted her head and glared at him.
“Well, then where’s your car, sweetie?” Sarcasm rippled through the tone of his voice, and he smirked.
“I had an accident!” Her sentence came out harsher in tone than she planned.
His eyes lifted and his jaw tightened. “What did you just say to me? Did you give me some lip?”
She lowered her eyes.
“I know what you can do with that sassy big mouth of yours.”
During the upswing of his second orgasm, he shouted she was still employed but, in the aftermath, he demanded she complete her penance with full-blown sex. He fell onto her, breathing heavily, sighing near her ear, “You give the best oral, baby.”
Lauren made a mental note to look for other employment.
You deserve better.
The thought floating through her mind was met with her wide-eyed look followed by her gaping mouth. Was Apollo here? Did he witness what she did to retain her employment? No. What an embarrassment. She hung her head in shame while wiping her mouth free of Carl’s sticky liquid residue.
Apollo. Her thoughts garbled with her emotions. I’m sorry. I did what I needed to, but you wouldn’t understand. Sweet Apollo, the sexiest angel alive, was likely disappointed with her submissive acts to Carl. But I had to. She fought an inner battle, fending off guilt, toying with shame, and accepting blame for all of it. She should’ve come back for Carl, yesterday, instead of driving away and because she didn’t, she was forced to submit to his demands. She closed her eyes recalling the sordid details, embarrassed to acknowledge Apollo peering in at them as a voyeur. She remembered hearing his gentle voice urging her to stop but unfortunately, she ignored him, intent on saving her job. Images of Carl and her flooded her mind. She recalled every explicit moment.
“Come here.” Carl motioned with the crook of his finger. “Now sit across my lap like a good girl.”
“Don’t go. You don’t need this.”
She looked at Carl and hesitated to know who spoke to her. It wasn’t Carl.
“Are you sassing me?” Carl asked.
“No, sorry.”
“Then get on my lap and let me feel those jugs.”
“Don’t go, Lauren. Don’t go to him. You don’t need him.”
“Uh.” Carl’s rude remarks on her anatomy offended her but did she have any right to expect anything different?
“You are precious. You are worth so much more. Don’t do it.”
She stepped back, unsure whether to continue with her endeavor to convince Carl she was worthy of a job at Layla’s.
“I love you.”
The words hit her straight in the gut and left her speechless. Apollo was special to her, unlike any other male she ever encountered, but he didn’t understand what it took to survive on Earth and love wouldn’t cut it. No bank would accept love as payment unless she did to them what she was going to do to Carl.
“No. Lauren, please don’t.”
She liked Apollo, admired and even respected him. The latter was a word she didn’t toss around lightly and not for any man, ever. Apollo stuck around when so many others left. He was a good advisor, even if he did frustrate her with his rose-colored glasses view of the world. Of course, it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous and so incredibly handsome that she would gladly be with him than with anyone else, if it was even remotely possible. Apollo could save her.
“You want the job or not?” Carl shouted at her.
“Yes, but…”
“Lauren.”
Apollo, in her head, had her second-guessing her plan. However, he was an angel and not human. He couldn’t help her.
“Whatcha gonna do, girly? This is part of your punishment. Your behavior modification starts now. Your rack is your golden prize, woman. I want to feel those home-grown titties in the palms of my hands now. So, come over here and don’t make me come get you.”
She acquiesced and flexed one leg off to the side of him and straddled his lap. He proceeded to fondle her nipples until she moaned and then he brought his hand up high and slapped one butt cheek. She yelled.
“Wow. You’re making me hard, baby.” He slapped her butt again. “Yeah, yeah baby, you like that?”
She shook her head, and he slapped her other butt cheek. She yelped.
“Well, I do, and this is what you deserve. I love to see them bounce. He smacked them both again, one then the other.”
“Carl, no,” she said, breathless.
He ground his erection into her, and she squirmed with a look of distaste. “Why don’t you unzip me and let’s have some fun.” He grabbed her hand and placed it atop his fly.
For the first time that night, Apollo became silent.
Carl’s words after he pushed into her reverberated in her ears. “Ride me, baby. Let me see what you can do. I want to see your jugs free and wild. Yeah, baby just like that.”
He bounced her on his lap.
“Woo, babe you’re going to make me come. Yeah, oh yeah. I’m going to shoot my load straight into you. Here I come.” He held her still, his head fell back, and he shouted expletives into the air. After several long seconds where he whinnied like a horse, trying to collect his breath, he lifted up and said, “Don’t you mistreat me again. I may not be so kind next time.” And then he tossed her off him onto the floor. Lauren shrieked as she landed on her bottom on the stained brown carpet. She lifted to look at Carl who was already getting dressed.
Her mouth opened to utter a protest, but he spoke before she could say one word. He zipped his pants up. “Get dressed. You got your job back. See you here tomorrow at seven p.m. in my office.”
“But why here and not out on the floor?”
Carl smiled but his smile was nothing like Apollo’s. Apollo’s smile was genuine, loving and warm, but Carl’s was full of mischief and self-gratification. She knew instantly why Carl wanted her back in his office, tomorrow and it wasn’t to talk.
Lauren didn’t want to do these dirty acts with Carl, but she couldn’t deny that sex with him was good. She loved having a man in her life though she wasn’t sure if Carl was the best choice. Apollo’s name popped up in her mind. He was strangely absent. Where was he?
She whispered her angel’s name into the empty room. Did he leave? At first, she considered him an intrusion in her life, but now she looked forward to their nightly conversations that would often continue into the early hours of the morning. She repeated his name, this time with a question, but there was no response. Was he upset?
I miss you. I’m sorry again but I had to, Apollo, please try to understand. I don’t want you to think badly of me. She swallowed back a dry lump in her throat and blinked her eyes from the impending tears. If Apollo left and she never saw him again… She bit her lower lip. What would she do? She placed her right hand over her heart, beating rapidly at the thought of losing her sweet, precious angel. Apollo deserved better, she knew. She treated him rotten, but he still loved her.
After several minutes of waiting for Apollo, she gave up. She only wanted a few minutes to chat with him before she headed out for the night, but he was absent. She stood up and pulled her clothes back on. She couldn’t focus on disturbing “what-ifs” right now. She was drawn to him in ways she never felt with anyone, but Apollo wasn’t here, and Carl was. As much as she wished it were true, Apollo wasn’t reality. He was perfection, the ultimate man and she wished he was hers. Unfortunately, her reality was Carl and Carl controlled whether she paid her upcoming rent or not. She scooped up her purse and walked out the door, disappointment settling in her heart.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Apollo watched Carl fidgeting in his seat at a local diner, waiting for Lauren.
It wasn’t right for an angel to dislike a human, but Apollo couldn’t help it—he did. Carl didn’t deserve Lauren and he never would. Apollo was casting judgment on a subject again and he was warned not to do this. As an angel, he wasn’t allowed to judge others actions, but he did with Carl, and he delighted in it because Carl was a negative entity. He wanted to whisk Lauren away to safety and love her forevermore, with no threat of anyone else coming between them but he couldn’t. Lauren wasn’t done with Carl yet and he couldn’t impose on her free will, but he didn’t have to like or agree with her choices.
Since that night of pure gluttony on Carl’s part where he wielded his so-called power over Lauren, dangling her job on the line based on her performance, Apollo retreated and allowed her other guardian to care for her. A part of Apollo cried out for Lauren that night she debased her worth and gave herself to a man who didn’t love her. Carl used her at will, crossing the line into abuse one month ago. Her shaken sense of self-worth pained Apollo. Didn’t she know how beautiful she was? To him, she was an amazing miracle walking about Earth. She was a gift to any man, precious in every way, but the choices she made had Apollo itching to shake her.
Carl tapped his fingertips on the table and looked out the window. He grumbled an unpleasant statement about Lauren under his breath. Why did she tolerate the company of those who weren’t on her level? His beautiful wildflower deserved a peaceful, easy life but instead, she chose one of toil, worry, and overbearing men. If she chose Apollo, he’d wrap her in his loving, strong arms and she’d never fear again. He’d heal her heart, filling the empty pockets within with all she needed. She’d never want for anything. However, since she neglected to take the first step—to stop and listen to what Apollo offered her—the second step, realizing it was possible, couldn’t be presented. Apollo wanted her acceptance and love. If she said the one magical word he craved from her lush lips, “Yes,” he’d give her the world. A confirmation of her commitment to him was all he needed, and they could begin their life together, as one. Instead, he found her rushing past pedestrians, racing toward the diner and to a man who scowled at her entrance.
“Where the hell have you been?” Several diners turned toward them as she stumbled into her seat.
She leaned over the table to whisper to Carl, “I’m sorry. I have a splitting headache and it took me a while to get here.”
“Well, take care of it, then. You shouldn’t keep me waiting.”
“I’m sorry.”
Carl looked over his shoulder. “Where’s that waitress? I’m ready to order.”
Lauren sighed and picked up her menu.
A petite female approached the table. “Good morning.” She blinked her eyes a few times and looked over at Carl with a wide, perky smile. “You ready to order?” Her winning smile lingered, and Carl took the bait. His frown kicked up into a wide grin.
“Well, aren’t you cute? You’re too pretty to be working here.”
“Why thank you.” Ms. Perky gushed. Lauren rolled her eyes. She scanned through items on the menu, trying to pick something fast. If she didn’t order when Carl did, she’d be in trouble.
“What’s for free?” Carl’s question was received with a shy smile and several bats of long, lush lashes.
“My smile.” She giggled.
“And what a smile that is.” He leered with his mouth hanging open.
Should I leave you two alone? Lauren wanted to ask but the threat of unemployment kept her mouth shut and her snarky thoughts unvoiced.
“I’ll have the special and you.” Carl handed her his menu with a wink and a lascivious grin.
“Aww, you’re sweet.” Ms. Perky turned to Lauren. “And for you, what will you be having?” Carl’s gaze dropped. His look of hunger wasn’t for food. The waitress teased him, wiggling her curvy behind in his direction and shaking it side to side, glancing back at him to determine his interest. Lauren dropped her menu and stared at the display.
“Well?” The waitress prompted. Lauren ordered the special and handed over her menu. The waitress backed into Carl’s side of the booth and was rewarded by Carl’s hands across her bottom. He caressed her once, dropping his hands back into his lap.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She clicked her pen and slipped it into her apron.
“That’s okay, sugar.” Carl adjusted himself. She sashayed to the back of the restaurant, swaying her hips with dramatic flair while her heels click-clacked across the tile.
“Mm, mm, mm. They sure make them good nowadays.” Carl’s gaze danced across the waitresses’ departing body.
“Do you have to do that around me?”
“I can do whatever I want with whomever I want, missy. Besides, you know how I feel about you. You’re my number one.”
“Out of how many, Carl?”
“Girl, you just worry about your own business. I’ll take care of mine.” He swung his head toward the doors the waitress escaped through seconds before.
Lauren sighed, her heart dropping with his insults. She stared at a tree outside the window.
Carl cleared his throat, reclaiming Lauren’s attention. “The boys want to get together this Sunday. I figure since you also want to spend time with me, they’ll come over to your place to watch football but you gotta make us lunch so make sure you buy some good snacks and cook them for us, okay?”
“Why are your friends coming over to my place? You know I don’t like sports and I have a small place with one bathroom, and you know I don’t have much money.”
His tone of voice escalated. “You telling me my boys can’t come over? Is that what you’re saying? Is that whatcha telling me, bitch? Maybe you’re too good for me? Huh? Is that what it is?” Carl jumped out of his seat, stood with his hands on his hips, and glared at her.
Oh no. Now she did it. She caused a scene. People were staring at them. She had to fix the situation fast.
She wrung her hands, desperate to end the discord between them. “No. No, honey, it’s okay. I’ll make your boys some lunch. Just sit down, okay. Please.” She turned away from the voyeurs, watching her and judging her, trying to ignore their looming presence.
Carl sat back down. “You better have some good snacks for us. I expect you to have something extra special for me after the boys leave.” He winked. “I know you’re good for it.” He glanced back at the kitchen. “In fact, I could have one right now after that waitress. Whoo wee.”
Lauren blew out a breath of air and peered out the window. The last thing she wanted was to be used by Carl, to vent out his sexual frustrations—now or on Sunday. Why did she stay with him? The question lingered in her mind. Yet, she knew the answer. Carl wasn’t all bad. He used to be nice, paying for their dates, her bills and, at times, even her rent. Yet, now he seemed to want more. She had, happily and gratefully, accepted everything he gave her, assuming it was out of love, but he never said the words she longed to hear, even though she said them to him, at several times. She asked herself if she loved him, but she couldn’t, honestly, say yes or no. She liked Carl—sometimes—but at other times he was cold and mean and she disliked him very much. The wonderful memories of him wining and dining her, making love to her with his hands and his sweet words in her ear had her wanting him, but Carl had changed somewhere between then and now. The gentleman who treated her with kindness and courtesy was replaced by a cheater who bedded women in between trysts with her. Lauren was a sex toy—at best—and at Carl’s beck and call when the mood struck him. Her relationship with Carl seemed similar to her mother’s relationships with men. Lauren hated that she ended up in the same situation.
