Zero expectations, p.5
Zero Expectations, page 5
We were going to come to blows in my front yard, and if my babies were big enough to do some damage, I’d totally sic them on Roman and his misogynistic ways. However, right now, they’d probably just try to lick him to death.
“Yeah, well, show me a hot guy, and I’ll show you a woman that still thinks his dick isn’t big enough,” I flung back, and like the macho, alpha, egotistical jerk that he was, his back straightened at that little tidbit. “You think that we’re the Antichrist because we bitch and complain a bit, but what about you men?”
“What about us?”
“You guys don’t want girlfriends or wives,” I told him. “You guys want a porn star in the bedroom, but your mother the rest of the time. God forbid that you do your own laundry, wash a dish, or know where the goddamn First-Aid kit is. You talk about wives bitching at their husbands all day, but what about husbands following their wives around all day, asking stupid ass questions because they can’t find the remote control on their own? What about telling them what time the school play is, writing it on the calendar, sending a reminder text, reminding them the day before, and they still show up late because their wife didn’t tell them the day of? What about when a notice in the mail for anything comes, yet they automatically hand it off to the wife to take care of it because they’re so used to giving their report cards or teacher’s notes to their mother?” I stepped back, crossing my arms over my chest, crisscrossing the leashes but not caring. “When women say that they want to have only two children, that doesn’t mean two children and a grown ass man-child.”
Roman stepped to me. “I’ll have you know that I do my own fucking laundry, I wash my own dishes, pay my own bills, and I know where the remote control is.” He looked annoyed, but he deserved it for attacking my gender unjustly. “I also know how to pick up after two five-year-olds, feed them, bathe them, clothe them, and keep them alive. So, don’t talk about men wanting their mothers, instead of a partner.”
“Being a perfect father doesn’t mean that you’re the perfect husband,” I retorted. “I bet if I asked your wife, she’d have a few stories that you’d deny to your dying day.”
“Well, since I don’t have a wife, that’s a non-issue,” I retorted back.
“Girlfriend, then,” I huffed.
“I don’t have one of those, either,” he tossed back, and I wasn’t surprised. At least, not with the way that he enjoyed maligning females.
“I can’t imagine why,” I deadpanned. “What with you being such a charmer and all.”
His light brown eyes glowed as he glowered down at me. “I don’t have a girlfriend or wife because I like to go home to a peaceful house. If there’s going to be constant crying, complaining, and whining, then I want it to come from my kids, not my wife.”
I got back in his face. “And I’m single because the idea of picking up a man’s dirty underwear because he can’t get them into the hamper himself doesn’t sound sexy at all to me.”
“Sounds like you’ve been dating the wrong men,” he shot back.
“Sounds like you’ve been dating the wrong women,” I returned, and it was almost on the tip of my tongue to mention the absent mother of his children, but that was a line that only an asshole would cross. I didn’t know their situation, and for all I knew, she could have died in a car crash or something tragic like that. While Roman didn’t seem like a grieving anything, it’d be a low blow to talk about a woman that I didn’t know, inadvertently bringing his children into our fight.
“Haven, dear,” came a voice that had me and Roman stepping back from each other. “It’s so good to see you.”
We both turned, and Mrs. Mabel Hearst was standing on the sidewalk, Roman and I so engrossed in our little battle of the sexes that we hadn’t even heard her approach. While I wasn’t super friendly with all of my neighbors, it was hard not to like Mrs. Hearst. She was the grandmother that every child wished that they had.
“Miss Mabel,” I greeted. “How are you?”
She took that as an invitation to join me and Roman. “I’m getting along just fine.” She glanced down at the puppies. “I’d heard you added to your little family.”
I grinned. “It’s just me, Miss Mabel. I’d hardly call myself a family.”
“You, Morgan, and Shiloh are a family,” she chided sweetly, and she wasn’t wrong.
“This is true,” I agreed. “Well, I’d like you to meet Nicodemus and Justin.”
Her entire face lit up. “Oh, from The Secret of NIMH?”
“You know that movie?” Roman asked, not being able to help himself.
“Mrs. Mabel Hearst, I’d like you to meet my across-the-street-neighbor, Roman Scott,” I said, formally introducing them because I knew that it’d irritate him some more.
Miss Mabel smiled up at him. “You’re the one with those precious little twins, aren’t you?”
Roman gave her a terse nod while I grinned from ear-to-ear. “Zach and Zoey,” he confirmed.
“Ah, children,” she sighed. “They keep you young, you know.”
“Yes, they do,” Roman replied politely.
When it was obvious that Roman wasn’t going to give up his life story, Miss Mabel said, “Well, I need to get going. I was just finishing my walk, and if I don’t get home soon, Mr. Hearst will start to worry.”
“As he should,” I remarked. “He’d hate to lose a gem like yourself, Miss Mabel.”
She chuckled. “You’re so good for the ego, dear.”
“I try.”
She turned towards Roman. “It was nice to officially meet you, Roman.”
“Likewise, Mrs. Hearst,” he responded expectantly.
“Oh, everyone around here calls me Miss Mabel,” she told him. “No need to stand on ceremony, I’m not royalty.”
“I disagree,” I said, still grinning like a loon just to piss Roman off.
Miss Mabel shot me a knowing look. “I’ll let you two kids get along now.” Glancing back down at the dogs, she added. “And I really hope to see these lovelies more and more.”
“You’re welcomed to come visit any time, Miss Mabel,” I assured her.
“See you two kids around,” she said before walking off.
As soon as she was down the block, I asked, “So, what do you think? Another Hansel and Gretel situation on our hands, or do you think that Miss Mabel is more incline to put razors in your children’s Halloween candy?” I leaned in conspiratorially. “Personally, I think she might keep them locked up in her basement and let them up only to scrub her floors. You know, a Cinderella sort of setup.”
The look he shot me would have made a lesser woman cower. However, all it did was make me laugh. For all his good looks, Roman Scott was a certified jackass, and it really was no wonder why he was single, even though I was also single.
“I can see that I’m not the only one single for a reason,” he drawled out, but the insult just bounced right off me. Whatever problem that Roman Scott had against women, I wasn’t going to be the one to pick up that crusade. As long as he stayed on his side of the street, I could stay on mine.
“How about you stay on your side of the street, and I’ll stay on my side of the street, and then we won’t have these problems?” I suggested sweetly.
Roman stared at me for a long minute, and it started to feel seriously uncomfortable before he finally said, “That sounds like a wonderful plan until my kids see you walking the dogs that they named. Then what? Are you going to ignore them? Tell them that they can’t play with Justin and Nicodemus?”
I grinned at that. “Oh, I never said anything about Zach and Zoey having to stay on their side of the street.” I shrugged like Roman was nonconsequential. “Your brother is more than welcomed to bring them by to play with the dogs when he can.”
“Stay away from my brother,” he bit out, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say that he sounded a tad jealous, but that was just crazy talk.
“Afraid that I’ll Hansel and Gretel him, too?”
“Quit fucking saying that,” he replied, but he’d said it on a sigh, telling me that he was as tired of this conversation as I was.
“Well, from what I saw of your brother, it looks like he can handle himself just fine,” I said just to needle the shit out of him.
He pierced me with those tawny-colored eyes of his. “Stay away from my brother,” he repeated. “He doesn’t need your shit any more than I do.”
My lip twitched. “You really shouldn’t show your enemies your weaknesses,” I advised. “Now I’m going to have to ensnare your brother in my wicked feminine web and become your sister-in-law.”
“You’re un-fucking-believable,” Roman swore before turning his back on me and heading back towards his house.
Chapter 9
Roman~
I couldn’t stop thinking of Haven Oslind and that smartass mouth of hers. I’d been trying since the second that I stepped off her lawn, but twenty-four hours later, she was still on my mind.
Looking back, yeah, I might have overreacted a bit, but the fear of anything happening to my kids was real. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them to have lives, make friends, or become their own person, because I really did want my children to grow up strong, confident, and capable. My idiocy came from knowing that my legal hold on my kids could always be threatened as long as Naomi was alive. There was nothing stopping her from petitioning for custody at any given moment. Sure, I had legal custody and guardianship of Zach and Zoey, but that didn’t mean that Naomi still couldn’t come back and take me to court to get her children back; or at the very least, get visitation. No matter that I had all my ducks in a row and her abandonment was blatant and obvious, because all it took was one sympathetic judge to grant the evil succubus visitation.
Also, I didn’t really think that all women were evil, but I’d been so goddamn wrong with Naomi that I could admit to being gun shy when it came to women, especially women that were hanging out with my children. When I had gotten back to the house, Alec had immediately apologized, making me feel like an even bigger asshole. He’d done nothing wrong, but I had still taken my issues out on him, and I knew that I was going to need to find a way to overcome my bullshit. Even though I’d told Haven that I didn’t come with any, I knew that I did.
However, with the kids in kindergarten and being subjected to the real world now, I knew that I was going to have to make nice with all the new people that were going to start coming into their lives. For as much as I hoarded the twins, they were friendly and outgoing, much to my dismay.
I also hadn’t stopped thinking about Haven’s take on the male species. I mean, what in the hell had she gone through to hate men like that? I knew what horrors lived in my past, so I felt like my reluctancy towards the opposite sex was more than warranted. However, Haven had been very passionate in her opinion of the opposite sex, so who had screwed her over?
There was also that painful twinge of jealousy when Haven had made it clear that Alec had an open invitation to visit her whenever he wanted to. Why a twinge of jealousy? I had no fucking idea. I hardly knew the woman. Sure, she was attractive as hell, but that mouth on her was vicious, exactly what I wasn’t looking for in my life.
Still, I couldn’t help but replay all her complaints in my head, and I’d found myself wondering stupid shit. I wasn’t interested in an additional headache in life, but neither was she. She’d made it very clear that she had no desire to adopt a grown man, and I’d been very clear about wanting nothing more than a hookup from the opposite sex. So, late last night, the idea of an agreement began to form in my head, and I just couldn’t seem to shake the notion that we might be perfect for each other. I saw no reason why we couldn’t hook up without all the drama that usually accompanied real relationships. Since my schedule was flexible now that the twins were in school, I could easily work around whatever she had going on. Plus, Alec and Lucius would happily babysit the kids if I wanted to get laid, though it’d never come to that. If Haven and I were to do this, it’d have to be some quickies while the kids were in school.
At any rate, that’s how I found myself standing in front of her door, still questioning my sanity a bit. When my parents had stopped by unexpectantly to take us to dinner, I’d seen my chance to talk to Haven, so I had made up some stupid excuse to bow out, and I was still feeling guilty about it. Though the twins hadn’t seemed to care one way or the other about my attendance, it was hard not to automatically always choose my kids first.
Lifting my hand, I knocked on the door, and I immediately heard the puppies begin to yap like lunatics. Though I had nothing against pets, I knew that training them was a difficult and time-consuming challenge to tackle. Luckily, Haven had a backyard, so that would help. Like children, pets also needed space to run around and play.
When Haven finally opened the door, she looked a mess, yet still fucking stunning. Her face was free of makeup, her dark hair was thrown up in a bun that looked like it was going to fall apart at any moment, and she was dressed in a huge Tupac t-shirt, a pair of black yoga pants, and…were those fluffy Christmas socks?
It was August, for fuck’s sakes.
“Am I interrupting?”
Her hazel eyes darted around. “Why are you here? Why aren’t the twins with you?”
Okay, I deserved that.
“They’re having dinner with my parents,” I answered. “I’m here because I was hoping that we could talk.”
“No.” she answered before going to shut the door in my face.
I quickly stuck my foot inside, stopping her. “Please.”
Haven sighed like I was the most exhausting thing in her life. “Look, Roman, I don’t have time for your shit. I just got off work, I’m hungry, and I have puppies that need training.” Her brows shot up. “What on earth could you possibly have to talk to me about?” Then she drew back, laying a hand on her chest, a look of dismay on her face. “Oh, I’m soooooooooo sorry. There I go, being a woman again, bitching, whining, and complaining. My apologies, sir.”
I wanted to ‘sir’ her firm backside with a few slaps.
“Five minutes,” I bargained, still not sure why I was practically begging. Those red flags that I’d mention yesterday were beginning to wave in my face, but I just couldn’t get past the idea that this woman was the answer to all my sexual prayers. She was also fiery enough that I could see the sex being just as fiery.
The dogs began trying to fight their way out of the front door, so Haven gave in, and it looked like the dogs might be my new best friends. “Fine,” she huffed. “Five minutes.”
Haven reached down, grabbing one of the dogs, so I quickly did the same as she stepped back to allow me inside. As soon as she shut the door behind me, she let the dog down, so I did the same. A quick glance around told me that Haven Oslind was not high maintenance. Though her house was clean and cozy, it also looked lived in and sentimental, no expensive matching furniture for this woman. Haven was definitely an advocate for comfortable living over a picture-perfect presentation of her home.
There were also puppy pads all over the place.
“How’s the training coming along?”
Haven planted her hands on her hips as she blew a wayward strand of her hair out of her face. “What do you want, Roman?”
I slid my hands in my pockets, trying to keep from smiling. This woman was a goddamn mess, and I had to be the stupidest man on the planet to find that attractive. Still, her straightforwardness was giving me hope that this might really work. She wasn’t afraid of being direct or rude, so maybe that meant she wasn’t afraid to be honest, too.
“I have a proposition for you.”
She shook her head, her black bun leaning farther to the left, holding on for dear life. “No,” she automatically answered. “We are not sharing custody of Justin and Nicodemus.”
I just stared at her blankly.
God, this woman.
Finally, I said, “I’m not here to discuss custody of the puppies.”
Her hazel eyes narrowed. “I’m not moving, either,” she stated firmly, and I had to really try my damnedest not to laugh at her. “I don’t care if you pay for all the moving cost, or even if you buy the damn house. I like this neighborhood, and if anyone’s going to move, then it should be you.”
“Are you crazy?” I asked, genuinely curious. “Do you take meds or something?”
“I will stab you,” she threatened. “I will stab you where you stand, and I’m pretty sure that I can convince the police that you were an intruder and that I was only trying to protect myself.”
“Okay,” I rushed out. “Let’s put off your capital murder urge for the moment and just hear me out.”
She sighed again, but then narrowed her eyes when one of the puppies kept trying to get me to carry him. “Traitor,” she muttered under her breath.
Not one to pass up an opportunity, I scooped up the puppy, then looked at his tag. Apparently, Justin liked me well enough to help my cause. When I started scratching him behind his ear, he settled down, falling in love with me.
“So, I was thinking about our conversation yesterday,” I said, finally addressing why I was here.
“What about it?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest, ready for another fight.
“You made it clear that you didn’t want a guy that you had to pick up after, and I’d made it clear that I wasn’t interested in a woman that would be in my ear all day.”
“Yeah…” she remarked hesitantly.
“What do you say to an arrangement of sorts?” I asked. “A friends-with-benefits sort of thing?”
“We’d have to be friends for that, Roman,” she replied tartly, but what else would she say?
Chapter 10
Haven~
Roman stared at me like he had no idea how to respond to that, but it was true; we weren’t friends
Now, was I attracted to him? My ovaries sure were, I could admit that. Was he a dick? Yep, he was. Still, did it matter if we were only having sex? Did it really matter that he wasn’t likeable? As long as I didn’t have to step on his dirty underwear or wipe down the bathroom counters after every goddamn shave, did it really matter?
